April Fools’ Day Is Coming to a Political System Near You

Gail Collins: Hey, Bret, we just hit April Fools’ Day. Did you have any political nominees?

Bret Stephens: Leaving aside anyone buying a Trump Bible for $60, my nominee is Kari Lake: 2020 election denier, 2022 Arizona loser in the governor’s race and now a 2024 Republican aspirant for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Kyrsten Sinema. Lake is being sued by another Republican, Stephen Richer, the Maricopa County recorder, who contends that she defamed him by making false claims about her loss in 2022, which led to all kinds of threats against Richer and his family.

Lake isn’t even bothering to defend herself on the substance of the suit and has asked the court to move directly to the damages phase. I hope the court takes the Fake out of Lake with a whopping judgment in Richer’s favor.

Who is your nominee?

Gail: Well, so many to choose from. Think I’m gonna go with James Comer, the chairman of the House Oversight Committee, who’s been busy trying to come up with a way to impeach Joe Biden for … whatever. Current subject is the business dealings of Joe’s son Hunter, a road we’ve been down a trillion times before.

Bret: Hey, think of all the fun we’ll have when Democrats return the favor by investigating Javanka, Don Jr. and Eric when Donald Trump is — gulp — back in office.

Gail: Do you think it’s possible Comer’s chosen the timing of his non-investigation to attract attention away from Trump’s first criminal trial in New York? Think it will? Hahahaha.

Bret: On one hand, I think the impeachment investigations are cynical and corrosive. On the other hand, they’re shrewd. The point isn’t to get a conviction in the Senate, which Comer knows will never happen. It’s to instill the view in the minds of some voters that the Biden family is just as corrupt as Trump’s, so that wavering voters who like Trump’s policies but not his persona will have reason to think that, ethically speaking, the two candidates are equal.