Abortion Didn’t Feel Like an Option. Neither Did Motherhood.

If the Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade in the coming weeks, tens of millions of women will find themselves living in states where abortion is outlawed in almost all cases. And for some women, that will mean having children — without actually wanting them — because they are left with no choice.

[You can listen to this episode of “First Person” on Apple, Spotify or Google or wherever you get your podcasts.]

That’s where Merritt Tierce, a writer, was 23 years ago. At 19, she was not planning to become a mother when she found herself pregnant. “I realized instantaneously when I saw the two pink lines appear telling me that I was pregnant, there was no way to go back to before that moment,” she said. “I was going to have to make a choice that was going to be impossible.” This is the story of the abortion Merritt Tierce didn’t have.

Mentions and further reading:

• Merritt wrote about her experience for The New York Times Magazine.

• The collection of poems she mentions in the episode is called “Cries of the Spirit.”

(A full transcript of the episode will be available midday on the Times website.)

“First Person” is produced by Derek Arthur, Christina Djossa, Jason Pagano, Cristal Duhaime, Olivia Natt and Courtney Stein. The show is edited by Kaari Pitkin, Stephanie Joyce and Lisa Tobin. Scoring by Isaac Jones, Pat McCusker and Carole Sabouraud. Mixing by Isaac Jones. Fact-checking by Mary Marge Locker. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta with editorial support from Kristina Samulewski. The executive producer is Irene Noguchi and the director of New York Times audio is Paula Szuchman. Special thanks to Kristin Lin, Jeffrey Miranda, Kate Sinclair, Patrick Healy and Katie Kingsbury.